God certainly makes me smile and sometimes even makes me burst out laughing the way he works my world. I have been struggling, but not in a negative way. I’ve been struggling to come into my purpose and seek my path and passion. To become one with myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, all the ally’s :-). Watching my days go by very slow paced, quietly observing accomplishments achieved by my peers and feeling totally disconnected from life’s flow. My impatience sometimes get the best of me. I feel like the turtle racing with the hare, unbelieving that ‘slow and steady wins the race’.
As I sat thinking about the past 5 months of my life, and I had to laugh because ‘The Universe’ is surely a comedian. The way ideas and plans for my future have been bouncing back and forth in my mind whilst changing monthly and sometimes even weekly is funny. ‘Pain in the ass ‘, I say, but when in realization it’s certainly comedic the way God works. My reflections allowed me to check in on my 2016 journey so far. I see how much I want to speed things up and to make things happen without enjoying the ride of the present. I see how blind I am to my current progressions and accomplishments; how focused I have been on a picture that has already unfold in my eyes. uncomprehending of how necessary these ‘struggles’ which are all strokes needed to complete that picture.
“It does not matter how slowly you go
as long as you do not stop.”
I had to tell myself, “be contented, your pace is yours and it’s ok”. My meditations brought the understanding that all this jumbled ‘ness’ is necessary for growth. That my path and purpose has many different outlets. It’s like a river connected with many tributaries and although they are flowing from different outlets they are all flowing towards the same mainstream. God has been showing me all this time in a not so fancy nor in clear terms that; I am filled with tributaries that all seem so disconnected for now but soon they will all connect in his glory. I believe now that my creative, overactive and sometimes overbearing mind will one day establish itself and my purpose in fine style. Till then I’m going to allow my streams to flow individually until they are ready to connect.