I look at this pic and I’m like omg I did that. I remember when I made a conscious decision in January 2011 to get active and start working out. I didn’t realize I was losing weight. I honestly couldn’t see it. I started feeling very self-conscious when I would meet people I haven’t seen in a while and hear the exclamation “omg what happened you lost so much weight!!” In my head, I’m like whatttttt!! I started to take the exclamations negatively because it always came across as if me losing some weight was a bad thing and it also made me feel as if I was totally obese before. I thought to myself is this natural, Am I ok? Maybe I lost too much too quickly? I didn’t feel like I was doing anything extreme. I definitely wasn’t starving myself. I wasn’t working out crazy. I just changed some habits and put more movement into my daily life. I became concerned, though. That dark part of me where my self-esteem was so low took over. I had to make appointments with my doctors to ensure that I was indeed ok and healthy. From that point on I started to really pay attention to the changes that others saw. I was aware that my waistline shrunk. I was aware of my boobs disappearing (my only objection to weight loss lol). I was aware of my fat face slimming down and that my muffin top wasn’t horrible anymore. I started embracing it, I started looking in the mirror and loving what I saw and I stopped being hard on myself. I’m currently not where the perfectionist in me wants to be but I’m comfortable and happy. I feel good and I look good.
I had to come to terms with the changes to be at the point I am today. I had to learn how to take compliments and not think of it as people’s way of being sarcastic. I had to learn to not over think an “OMG, you lost so much weight!” exclamation. I had to learn to rejoice and be proud of my dedication and hard work in losing probably over 25/30 lbs (honestly never checked my weight before beginning my goal). I enjoy fitting size 8/6 clothing and size small. I even try to get away with extra small if I can lol. This was one hurdle I had to cross and I did it without being totally aware of what I was doing. I was just driven to put my energy into exercise whenever I can. I motivated myself and I’m happy about that. Since I’m now aware of that accomplishment I did all by myself, I feel confident that I can deal with the other issues I face head on and win. So my fellow readers watch me ROARRRRRRR