All the Ins and Betweens

Day 13 Year 2017

Journal entry 01-13-17

I was recently telling one of my cousins that I don’t think I know how to pray. My prayers don’t sound like the good prayers pray. It sounds so childlike to me. I told her I want to learn how to pray like those Pentecostals whose prayers are full of conviction and strength. Of course, she laughed at me and when she recovered from her laughter, proceeded to give me advice. One of her advice that I remembered this morning as I prayed was to always begin by asking for forgiveness. I was mindful of this and so my prayer began with me asking for forgiveness for my thoughts, words, and deeds against others and myself.
After having my coffee, I was moved to go to my kindle app to find the book “A Year of Miracles: Daily devotion and Reflections” by Marianne Williamson for today’s devotion. Mind you, I bought this book about 2 years ago and with most things in my life I haven’t been consistent in reading it. I’m yet to read it entirely but since I’m putting this out there today it might be an incentive to really follow through. Anyways, I was in awe when I read it and saw how much the message fell in line with my prayer about forgiveness. I cannot run away from God and try to direct my own path. Sometimes I hear him but I dismiss it. I find myself too scared to follow through on his guidance for the plans he has for me. Those plans seem so big and I feel so small and unimportant. He keeps plastering the walls of my mind with ideas and more ideas. He sees the creativity in me and I see it myself but lord it’s like how much ideas can one person have? He is willing me to start using my gifts to put things into action to trust his direction but stubbornly I’m stuck in my head. Comfortably taking refuge in my comfort zone. He keeps trying to shake me up, sending little earthquakes my way to wake me up. But my desire to remain comfortable makes me find shortcuts and any means possible to stay comfortable. I’m awaiting the TORNADO lord I know it’s coming because his plan is not for me to go through life playing on a mediocre level.
I didn’t even plan to write all of this but the words were flowing and I decided to be obedient. So, I thank him for showing up this morning. Forgiveness is important friends, asking for it and giving it. We are all sinners and we all need to repent and forgive daily. We also need to trust the direction he is leading us. I don’t know how long I can be STUBBORN for and tip toe through life. I am thankful that I can acknowledge my flaws. FAITH/FEAR. Anyone out there is stubborn like me?

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2 responses to “Day 13 Year 2017”

  1. Lisa says:

    Very interesting topics..Got some much needed points and actions i need to start asap..Great read and im super proud of you for sharing a part of your life with the world…Keep growing and ill be watching and cheering you on.Stay blessed and focused..Superb job laureen..

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